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                          努力不是用感動“綁架”對方

                          來源: www.numenleather.com 時間:2019-04-24 編輯: 人生感悟
                          努力不是用感動“綁架”對方

                          《新喜劇之王》里有一段如夢送快遞的戲,如夢苦苦哀求導演給她一個戲份,可導演從開始的婉拒到后來的決絕——“你不用等,從現在直到宇宙毀滅,你都沒有機會”。依然沒有澆滅她演戲的火種,最后不得不把她趕走。我敢說這個情節一定感動了一些人,也有人指責導演的冷血,一個這么努力、不怕挫折的年輕人,給她一個機會怎么了?!是啊,給她一個機會能怎樣?只有經歷過這些人的人才最有資格說吧。

                          人事部的王姐和我一起看完電影后,對我講了一件事。她是和公司一起成長起來的主管,在我沒來之前她面試過很多求職的年輕人。其中有這樣的一個女孩,面試的時候她信心慢慢地說:“如果能給我一個機會,我肯定不會讓你失望的。”和如夢的話何其相似。她被打動了,于是留下了她。
                           
                          此后三個月的試用期,王姐不斷懷疑自己當初的決定,并不停為她做的事擦屁股。每周的人事會議她都特別認真的記筆記、提問題。本來開會最大的阻礙是人人不樂意提問題當出頭鳥,遇到一個愛提問的員工上司挺開心,可她提的都是那些要花很長時間解釋,卻對推進工作沒有任何作用的問題。
                           
                          王姐心想每個人都是從新人過來的,一開始都會提出幼稚的問題,常常會浪費團隊的時間精力,付出努力沒有回報也是家常便飯。要允許信任犯錯,多給她們一些時間。所以王姐在會議上沒有批評她,委婉地說希望實習生們別怕他人的笑話,最好多提好建議。實習生就覺得王姐是在肯定她,精神振奮。
                           
                          在做會議輔導時,王姐把過程步驟告訴她,并讓她看了自己做的會議PPT。沒想到她竟修飾她做好的PPT,名曰這樣更生動。加了很多極其幼稚的文字翻滾特效和重點部分煙花效果,聲音效果。幸好她有會前檢查的習慣,當她看著亂七八糟的PPT時,沒有時間去生氣。但她下定決心實習期一到就請這個努力的年輕人了走人。會議前連夜修改,才不至于在全公司月末會議中太丟臉。
                           
                          她說:想起《喜劇之王》中的陳導演當著劇組大罵尹天仇:人類最大的災難就是這種人,又不行,又沒有自知之明,還不死心,整天出來搞事情。他突然發這么大的脾氣,我猜他以前肯定因為相信他們而吃過虧。人家都說了“死都不要你”,你還要推銷自己,你的所謂努力,不過是想用感動“綁架”對方——你看看我,那么努力,你難道沒有責任給我回報嗎?
                           
                          也許他們自己都沒感覺到,只是求個機會,混飽飯吃。可他們忘了結果要一同承擔的。一個“只在乎自己是不是努力,能不能成功”的人,周圍的人常常要跟著倒霉。推銷自己是走向成功的第一步,死纏爛打絕對是推銷自己最爛的辦法。大家都是出來混飯吃的,誰都不容易,何必呢!
                           
                          現實中能遇到很多這樣的人,他們的大腦永遠是從“成功學”的角度分析問題,你跟他講“這個不重要”,他覺得你沒有理想;你跟他分析孰輕孰重,他覺得你low;你罵他一頓想把他罵醒,他覺得這是上天對他意志的考驗……
                           
                          例如:地鐵里一個糾纏著你掃二維碼的人,表面上是努力,其實內心想的是“我不是在求你,我是在求錢,掃一個碼十元錢”。
                           
                          一個不停打電話的二手房中介,表機上是努力,其實內心想的是:“我不是在打電話,我是在砸金蛋,你們的電話都是潛在的金蛋。”
                           
                          從微表情心理學上講,他們常常一臉歉意,其實他們內心想的是:“如果我的努力打擾了你,我也沒辦法,我也得活著,我也有理想,不想平庸一輩子。”
                           
                          這些人不是壞人,他們是存在我們身邊的普通人,甚至還挺友善,有夢想、想發財并不是錯。現實中大部分人都會因為努力而達到一般水平,但問題在于,如果你付出了比常人多一倍的代價,你可能只甘心做到一般水平嗎?如果你付出的努力,超過了這些努力本身能夠得到的回報,你的心態必然會失衡。這才是尹天仇和如夢們如此尷尬的真正原因。
                           
                          是什么讓他們一心想著成功,而從不關心是否影響了他人呢?問題還是出在“努力”這兩個字上。
                           
                          勵志片與現實生活有一道屏障,希望年輕人明白不是所有的機會都值得去爭取。職場上大部分工作都是“看不見臉”的,你必須用20%的精力干完80%的工作,你才能有80%的精力投入到20%最重要的事情上。做好本職工作,在你的團隊中最一個好成員,才是首要的。努力的方向不是強調自我、秀演技、到處搶戲找存在感,而是吃苦。我不是不讓你努力,而是希望你意往更腳踏實地的方向努力。www.numenleather.com
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