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                          社交減法帶來心靈的自由

                          來源: www.numenleather.com 時間:2019-07-03 編輯: 人生感悟
                          社交減法帶來心靈的自由
                          你是不是有感覺被迫參加一些無意義的“局”?不管是為了拓展朋友圈,為了了解別人的生活方式不落伍,還是為了升職加薪,其實內心并不真心喜歡,還有心累的感覺。在外企工作的大學班長有著令我們羨慕的生活,可她卻對我訴說社交帶來的苦惱。
                           
                          聽完她的話,我問她:“既然不想去就別去啊,這不符合你的作風啊?”
                           
                          她苦惱地說:“說得簡單,可不去怎么行?都是人脈啊,沒準將來會用到誰呢!”
                           
                          我繼續問:“這樣的話,你結交了幾個真心朋友?能和你利益互換的有幾個?”
                           
                          良久,他沉默無語。“也許你說的對,有時候只是自己焦慮,害怕錯過些什么。”
                           
                          敬了一圈酒,遞了一盒名片,加了一堆微信,轉身根本不知道誰是誰。這樣的社交,意義到底在哪里?無意義的聚會和酒局,只會不斷消耗我們的精力,降低我們的生活質量。
                           
                          有人會想像她這個級別的人有條件挑選局,去或不去都降低不了身份。可我就是一普通人,打工族,沒錢沒權沒地位,多參加一些局,廣撒網總會有些收獲。帶著功利性質的社交,真的達到目的了嗎?要先進入圈子,首先自己得擁有跟圈子匹配的技能或者價值,能夠為圈子提供幫助,價值。否則一味的索取,想從圈子中得到些東西,終究得不到別人的認可。
                           
                          假如你一定要越過這一層級而直接向大公司的老總討教一些求職方法,往往得不到具有實質性的建議,多半是一些人生大道理;如果你是企業里面的基礎崗位人員,就不要奢想著天天能得到跟老板平起平坐交流探討的機會;如果你是企業里面的高層人員,你也不會天天跟基層的員工同吃大鍋飯并暢談人生理想。所以我們需要做的是,不斷提升自己的個人綜合實力,并學會接力,真心結交比自己更優秀但級別相對匹配的朋友,只有這樣,才能真正建立起自己切實有效的人脈關系。一起感悟人生
                           
                          人之所以幫你,是因為你本身有價值。花更多時間提升自己,才能在社交中得到對等的回報。
                           
                          如果你比較內向想通過參加局鍛煉自己,提高社交能力,擴大交友范圍。有種解決這個問題的方法是,提高自己,使自己有一技之長,到時候自然會吸引到別人,讓別人有求于你,這樣圈子就會主動找到你。
                           
                          朋友多不是真正的社交
                           
                          作家周國平早就指出:“熱衷于社交的人往往自詡朋友眾多;其實他們心里明白,社交場上的主宰絕對不是友誼,而是時尚、利益或無聊。”這里不會有真心朋友。
                           
                          社交減法告訴你人只有一顆心臟,哪能裝得下那么多虛情假意,那些沒有用的朋友們,該拋棄就拋棄吧!只有拋棄了原本無意義的朋友,才能遇見對你來說更有意義的朋友。
                           
                          不是你不適合圈子,可能是圈子不適合你
                           
                          老公說在剛工作的一段時間,想要了解別人,跟上“社會潮流”,覺得不該脫離同學們,于是參加同學聚會。但他一直很苦惱,同學們愛聚在一起抽煙喝大酒,小賭怡怡情。可自己不抽煙不喝酒,也不愛打牌,但又怕同學說自己特立獨行,看不起人,每每聚會之后很苦惱,看著別人三三兩兩搞小圈子,心里又誰都不想加入。我說既然不喜歡那就不要去,他說不去怕同學不高興。過了幾年,他終于想通了,不再為難自己。跟我說:我放棄了,不是我不適合圈子,是他們的圈子不適合我。我又是這樣的一個人,也嘗試過改變,但終究是痛苦,既然處不來,各自安好也是選擇。
                           
                          你不是所有的都適合,也不是適合你的所有的事你都該去做。
                           
                          從小父親就教導,二十歲找朋友,三十歲揀朋友,四十歲扔朋友,五十歲還能陪伴在你身邊的才是真正的朋友。但是前提是不要以自己個人為中心的去做,因為自私也不能交得到真正的朋友。
                           
                          現在我到了而立之年,身邊還有幾個真正能交心的朋友,感覺還是挺幸福的。到了一定年紀,我們就必須扔掉四樣東西:沒有意義的局,不愛你的人,看不起你的親戚,虛情假意的朋友…
                           
                          人生有舍才有得。只有懂得做社交減法,放棄無用的社交,我們才能離優秀更近一步。www.numenleather.com
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