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                          我們為什么那么討厭不懂事的人?

                          來源: www.numenleather.com 時間:2018-10-22 編輯: 人生感悟
                          我們為什么那么討厭不懂事的人?

                          生活中你可能會遇到這樣的情景,不懂事的孩子為了得到想要的東西,不考慮父母的經濟能力,不給買就百般刁難,撒潑打滾,甚至以命相挾;明明自己玩手機犯錯撞了別人的車,還百般抵賴,一副“我窮我有理,你富你活該”的樣子;上班混日子,業務墊底,拖累團隊,還老埋怨公司制度,為什么不多漲點工資;整天打游戲,死宅,還希望年輕漂亮的女朋友一直跟著自己,殊不知浪費自己的青春也葬送了女友的青春;嘴巴不積德,把自己情緒隨意對著別人發泄,最后招來別人的責罵或毆打。遇到這樣不講理,不懂事的人,我們真是避之不及,哪怕是看到都有堵心的感覺。

                          這些不懂事的人心里只裝著自己,說話口無遮攔根本不在乎別人的感受。

                          這些不懂事的人按照自己的喜好行事,一個人越無理地只關注自己的喜好,就越會被人厭惡,越是被人厭惡,人家越會對你產生抵觸情緒,越是抵觸,你與人交往就越不順利,這就是按自己喜好行事的代價。

                          這些不懂事的人特別注重自己的感受。只關注自己的感受,但是沒有想過“大人掙錢不易,應該把錢花在應該花的地方”“老板處理這么多事,哪有空管我們的事,業務不好沒被罵就不錯了……”“女朋友都這年紀了,再不好好奮斗給她一個家,將來拿什么面對她和她們家……”“寢室里那么多人,不止是我在生活,應該注意一點自己的言行……”他們不會想到這些,因為他只注重自己內心的感受,一旦用這種心理去與人交流的時候,感覺不到別人的不舒服,別人的生氣。這樣跟別人的溝通狀態一定是很差。

                          這些不懂事的人遇到一點不順心,沒有達到自己的目的,就開始情緒化。負能量毫不顧忌地噴向周圍的人,摔東西,離家出走,發牢騷,一言不合就離職。一遇到不順心的事,考慮的不是下一步怎么做,不想自己做的怎么樣,只想把情緒直接表達出來才舒服。也許你舒服了,但你的不懂事,別人會感受到,哪怕沒人說你一句,一直這樣下去,你看看你變成什么樣子。

                          與這些不懂事的人相處,能感受得到他們強烈的對抗意識。在自身感受和情緒化得到加強和擴張之后,不懂事會升級為與人對抗,他們不分場合給人難看;覺得女人都物質,就是愛錢;我就埋怨幾句也值得他們對我口誅筆伐;寧可不干這份工作也要給老板下不了臺,甚至產生極端報復的想法。當談話雙方都產生強烈的對抗意識,雙方進入了對抗,再無有效溝通,都快成仇人了還談什么人際關系?

                          這些不懂事的人喜歡抱怨別人的不足。當你與人對抗的時候,你試著把自己和對方做的事情以及對抗的原因寫下來,從事心理咨詢的醫生建議這么做,但很多人寫自己做的事情時候,就是一句話:“我可能耐心不夠”“我可能沒花時間多聽他說”“我可能顯得不太尊重他”一句話就完了,但是說到別人的時候,可以寫一篇3k+的作文還是不帶標點的。

                          有的人對自己的描述還令人十分咋舌,“我覺得我沒問題啊,都是他的錯。”是啊,都是別人的錯,父親窮,是他的錯;女友跟有錢人跑了,是她的錯;老板沒給我加工資,他的錯;寢室里的人愛搞小團體,我覺得我沒做錯什么,她們就是愛針對我。www.numenleather.com

                          也許說的是事實,但絕不是全部事實。你們是施暴者也是受害者,因為對自己的行為缺乏約束和管理,因此被這種負面情緒反撲,遭受到身心雙重打擊。一起感悟人生但我覺得不值得同情,如果不懂事的人能意識到一點,年輕可能不懂事,不懂事絕不是借口,受害也不是施暴的必要前提。就應該做的是,關好情緒的獸門,別讓他們隨意出來害人害己。

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