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                          孩子沒有時間觀念,如何幫忙糾正?

                          來源: www.numenleather.com 時間:2018-04-10 編輯: 人生感悟
                          孩子沒有時間觀念,如何幫忙糾正?

                          “冉冉語文考了47分,我問她怎么回事?她說‘我寫作文來著,寫完作文就沒時間寫完前面的題了’。哎呦! 真快把我氣死了!”姐姐想我傾訴。

                          我說:“她這個答題時間沒安排好啊。”

                          “可不,哪有先寫作文的?平時總說先寫前面,從前往后做。可她倒好,愣是倒著干,主要是還沒干好。”

                          “別光顧著生氣啦。考不好只是一個現象,冉冉是不是平時都不會利用時間,想起干什么就干什么呀?”

                          “是啊!邊寫邊玩,60道算術題,可以寫半天。還得我一直催。”

                          “我看你現在最著急做的事,不是怎么提升她的學習成績,而是怎么教她學習利用時間。”

                          和姐姐聊了半個小時,給了她一些建議。上小學的孩子正是養成好習慣的時候,每個孩子都會有這樣那樣的問題,家長不要一見孩子出問題了、考試考差了、不聽話了,就陷入焦慮。孩子觀察大人的一言一行,你的焦慮會讓孩子更無所適從。這個時期的孩子有了一些自己的想法,但對時間的規劃程度還不夠,不要指望孩子像大人那樣自覺,知道事有輕重緩急,如何管理時間需要父母引導和幫助。關鍵是父母的態度,別怕失敗,多嘗試,前提一定要下大決心,不要特意規定時間,比如一個月、三個月就能改造好孩子了,他們一下子懂得如何科學運用時間了,就是大人也很難做到。

                          做好打持久戰的準備,目標明確(讓孩子學會管理時間),方法可以隨時根據孩子的表現進行改善。最適合孩子的才是最好的教育方法。還有一種情況父母本身就缺乏時間觀念,生活上拖沓、懶散,分不清輕重緩急,缺乏時間管理的能力,無法給孩子樹立好的學習模板。

                          當然,如果父母強迫孩子去做自己不感興趣的事情時,孩子會有強烈的抵觸情緒,行動會畏難、拖延。我們大人對于自己不擅長或不喜歡做的事情,不也是能逃就逃、能拖就拖嗎?父母要意識到自身的問題,和孩子一同改變。比起教科書式的說教實驗,父母的案例無疑是最有效果的。

                          全世界的小孩都沒啥時間概念,但國外的學校在孩子進入小學以后,一般都會給孩子開設時間管理課程,教給孩子時間管理技能。下面是我照搬的。

                          第一學會區分“必須”和“想要”

                          孩子學會安排時間,從理解自己面對的任務屬于什么性質開始。小孩子的天性,是以喜好來驅動行為,而老師告訴孩子,我們做一件事,并不能完全取決于自己喜不喜歡。

                          Have to是必須要做的事,哪怕不怎么喜歡。比如,按時上學,完成作業,保持自己的房間整潔,等等。完成必須要做的事情,就是履行我們的責任。

                          Want to是我們喜歡、愿意去做的事情,比如畫畫、踢球、旅行、打游戲,等等。正因為我們能做自己喜歡的事,我們會感到快樂,而且有機會發展自己的愛好和專長。給一些選項,讓孩子自己決定哪些是必須做的,哪些是自己想做的。

                          大多數孩子會這樣選吧(我估計自己就會這樣選):

                          Have to: 做作業、學英語、打掃房間、洗碗、擦窗、按時上床睡覺

                          Want to: 打游戲、騎車、吃披薩、讀漫畫書、看動畫片、喝果汁、會朋友

                          有了這層意識,孩子們就能開始跟自己對話,告訴自己要戰勝自己的情緒,該做的事情不要拖延和逃避,而自己想做的事情,應該爭取時間去實現。

                          第二學會設定優先級

                          時間不夠,是因為不懂劃分事情的優先級。

                          設定優先級,和前面說到的區分 have to 和 want to 并不是一回事兒,這里多了一個“時間”的維度。

                          一件事什么時候去做,要考慮兩個方面:

                          1、這件事是否重要 -important or not

                          2、這件事是否緊急 -urgent or not

                          讓孩子們認識到,大多數事情,可以落在這四個區域內:

                          1、這件事很重要,也很緊急

                          2、這件事很重要,但不緊急

                          3、這件事不是很重要,但很緊急

                          4、這件事不是很重要,也不緊急

                          區分好后,先做什么,后做什么,就清楚了。可以這樣決定:

                          緊急的,重要的——優先去做,Do First 

                          比如,明天要交的作業

                          不緊急的,重要的——然后去做,Do Next

                          比如,為兩天后的考試做復習

                          緊急的,不重要的——再后去做,Do Later

                          比如,正在熱播的動畫片續集

                          不緊急的,不重要的——那就別做了吧,Don't Do

                          比如,和朋友電話微信聊聊你們都在追的動畫片

                          有時候,第二優先級和第三優先級的事情,到底先做哪一個,還不是特別容易確定。

                          比如上面這個例子里,復習準備兩天后的考試VS追劇,怎么選擇呢?

                          這時候,就需要孩子的自我判定。如果感覺下周考試不是那么難以對付,那么追劇也沒什么錯;如果覺得考試是個挑戰,那么放棄追劇,考完后再看,就是負責任的選擇www.numenleather.com 一起感悟人生。

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