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                          智慧婚姻先要放過自己

                          來源: www.numenleather.com 時間:2019-05-13 編輯: 人生感悟
                          智慧婚姻先要放過自己

                          前段時間因為收拾家務一些小事,和老公吵了一架。原因是讓他幫忙疊衣服,可他疊得亂七八糟,刷過的碗還有飯粒,害得我,氣呼呼地刷過碗,飯都吃不下,他還說:這充分證明,我不適合刷碗。我也上了一天班,累不說還會心情糟糕,做過飯,他幫忙做些家務都做不好。老公忙說:我買洗碗機,那樣洗得干凈。我更氣:你快省省錢吧,懶死你得了。我怎么才發現你是個生活不能自理的大巨嬰呢!漸漸下去,我就快變成黃臉婆了。老公看我發怒,貼著好臉說:你就是變成黃臉婆我也喜歡。我不領情,大聲說:去你的吧!

                          然后我出門找閨蜜傾訴:這日子真沒法過了!婚前以為他是貼心暖男,婚后才發現他是大巨嬰,什么不讓你受苦,一切有我呢,連家務事都不肯好好做。男子都是騙子!
                           
                          閨蜜一臉無語的看著我說:你知道嗎?我倒覺得結婚后有所變化的反而是你。我不解:明明是他從婚前的百般熱情變為了婚后的不聞不問,憑什么問題就是出在了我身上?
                           
                          閨蜜于是特別耐心的開始給我分析:其實不是他改變了,而是你太過相信你所看過的那些所謂的雞湯文。覺得好男人就應該如文中所說的婚后就要讓妻子十指不沾陽春水,要上得廳堂下得廚房,一切以老婆為先,還要有能力賺錢養家。只要做不到那樣就是十惡不赦,就是一起感悟人生不在乎你不愛你。
                          感悟人生
                           
                          其實你仔細想想,你所抱怨的種種,只不過是源于你的心理發生了變化罷了,婚前你有自己的愛好有自己的工作,并且對婚姻你也有更多的選擇權,并非只能在他那一棵樹上吊死。你并非把所有的注意力都放在了他身上,所以他自然對你千般好萬般寵,甚至做自己并不擅長的事兒,賣力表現只為贏得你的注意。
                           
                          但是婚后你幾乎把自己的所有注意力都加諸到了他的身上,甚至他的一個細小的動作都會引起你內心的巨大波瀾,所以久而久之他自然是想要退避的。
                           
                          你覺得你的婚姻不幸福,只不過是你過分關注他而忽略了自己罷了,所謂的婚姻無非就是柴米油鹽醬醋茶,日復一日年復一年的相互依偎著過下去,期望值過高只會導致你們感情破裂的更快。那種雞湯文只不過是我們的一種美好愿景罷了,太過認真你就輸了。
                           
                          我看著閨蜜沉默了,心想事情來臨,把責任全推給別人并不明智,我也信奉遇事先從自己找問題,可到了婚姻之中就變了。面對我的指責,老公做得還比較克制。想要別人幫忙,還要求必須達到我的標準,結果會讓我們都不開心。不如多贊美,多鼓勵。兩個生長在不同家庭環境的人,湊在一起過日子,身上都帶著原生家庭的印記,需要融合,需要包容。家務小事總有一個中和的辦法。
                           
                          我特別感謝閨蜜的肺腑之言,于是在空閑的時間我學會了用讀書散步來打發時間,而不是糾結老公為什么對我不聞不問。這樣一天天的走下來,我卻反倒發現了老公的更多優點,小日子也過的日益溫馨和諧。老公也說我變得理性大氣了,主動承擔家務,心理有不愉快也會對我說,有人說好的婚姻,不僅是分享快樂,更重要是的分享憂愁和痛苦。
                           
                          好的婚姻究竟是什么?不是雞湯里描述的那種黏黏膩膩,而是各自成長,卻也能在疲累的時候相互依偎,是在點點滴滴中發現生活中種種小確幸,也是在被瑣事所困中的相視一笑。所以,何不找回那個丟失的自己,放過自己也放過對方呢?www.numenleather.com
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