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                          自黑耍貧嘴的朋友圈人生段子,這也是沒誰了

                          來源: www.numenleather.com 時間:2017-08-24 編輯: 人生感悟
                          自黑耍貧嘴的朋友圈人生段子,這也是沒誰了

                          不顧他人眼光,而能夠做到自黑自娛,又是何等的胸襟,非大智慧之人不可為。這種精神值得發揚。我們會發現,如今社會中有很多人都喜歡自黑,自嘲。他們敢于正視自己的優缺點,積極的面對。

                          例如大冪冪起初被人黑得體無完膚,總有人說說她長相不好演技差而且大腳臭。她很聰明,搶在網友之前黑自己,一遍一遍又一遍,她的危機一下子就得到了化解,人也變得可愛起來。雖然她的演技仍受爭議,但是很多人都對她路轉粉,連我這個不怎么愛看電視的人,看過三生三世后都對她刮目相看。還有很多明星不在乎別人嘲笑自己的顏值形象,用自己的才華和智慧吸引別人,樂于自黑的人,心胸才是真的豁達的人。

                          我的嘴唇有點厚,上學的時候同學們老是取笑我,給我起綽號,叫我大嘴巴。我反抗,甚至與人對罵,依舊不管事,我常常氣到流淚,同學們也流淚,不過是笑出眼淚。好像我全身就這一個器官,別的他們都看不見。

                          后來想想自己真不劃算,其實也沒多大事,反正也不掉塊肉。自己黑自己好了,把全身上下黑了個遍,早已無處可黑。個子矮、眼睛小、鼻子塌、發際線高。媽蛋,每一點都不好看。湊到一起卻挺美觀。在我拿自己開涮之后,他們就沒再取笑我了,因為別人不能拿你不在乎的東西傷害你。

                          1、人不能太方,也不能太圓,尤其在愛情這件事上,方會傷人,圓會讓人遠離你,因此你人要橢圓!

                          2、累么?累就對了,舒服是留給死人的。

                          3、現在你罵我,是因為你還不了解我,等你以后了解了我,你一定會動手打我的。

                          4、能力就像瓜子仁,只有咬牙才能嗑出來。

                          5、后悔的事我不做,我只做讓你后悔的事。

                          6、男人總是說一套做一套,關鍵時候還帶個套。

                          7、你說冰是睡著的水,我只記得屁是屎的嘆息……

                          8、不想接我電話就直說,別老是讓人家移動幫你向我說對不起。

                          9、吸進去的是氧氣,吐出來的是嘆息。

                          10、女人會外遇,是因為心動;男人會外遇,是因為新洞!

                          11、不要小看拖鞋,那可是忍辱負重的楷模。

                          12、我親眼看著你走上臺,不知道你是將要獻丑,還是出丑。

                          13、為什么程序員大多都單身呢?因為他們經常:找不到對象。

                          14、打狗還得看主人,很多時侯,打狗就是打給主人看的。

                          15、我爸面對我發胖一事發表了看法:沒有韓紅的命,還得了韓紅的病。

                          16、勵志有兩種方法,一種是看別人成功,一種是看別人倒霉。

                          17、介紹自己衣服的面料:此款面料彈性十足,堪比今麥郎彈面。

                          18、喝藥遞瓶,上吊給繩,跳樓的揮著小手絹送行。

                          19、打工和創業的區別:打工的混不下去可以跳槽,老板混不下去只有跳樓。

                          20、坐吃山空,立吃地陷,看來只有爬下吃了。

                          21、馬不停蹄的錯過,輕而易舉的辜負,不知不覺的陌路。

                          22、有些人就是這樣,自己是蛆就覺得全世界是一個大糞池。

                          23、看到別人二十幾歲就家產過億,十億,幾十億,我就五百萬,還是像素。

                          24、各種英語詞匯書的第一個單詞都是abandon,是不是想告訴大家:放棄吧

                          25、身為藍顏的我,忽然明白了,藍顏就是行使著男朋友的義務,卻他媽的沒有男朋友的權利!

                          26、女人三十如狼,四十如虎,五十坐地能吸土。

                          27、通往我成功的路,總是在施工中。

                          28、愚人節表白簡直弱爆了,清明節表白才是王道!因為...萬一被拒絕...可以說...啊,剛才被附體了!

                          29、當女朋友因為要來大姨媽煩躁的時候,男人就應該緊緊抱住她,說:“我真沒用,還讓你來大姨媽”

                          30、期末考這么多年了,怎么不搞個周年慶,比如考四十送二十,過兩科送一科,任選兩科免考。www.numenleather.com

                          31、我看我自己看了20多年才看順眼,你看我不順眼很正常。我活著也不是為了取悅你。

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