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                          笑著說“我沒事”就真的沒事了?那些隱忍下的情緒都怎么樣了?

                          來源: www.numenleather.com 時間:2019-05-14 編輯: 人生感悟
                          笑著說“我沒事”就真的沒事了?那些隱忍下的情緒都怎么樣了?

                          有時候你看見一個人笑得很甜,很大聲,但其實她的內心早就崩潰不已;有時候你看見他正在沉穩地開車,但他腦海里想的是“還不如死了算了。”;他遭遇挫折卻能笑著跟身邊的人說我沒事,但他內心正忍受著負面情緒排山倒海地襲來.......成年人的世界,不能歇斯底里的哭泣,也不能旁若無人地叫喊,連崩潰都得排隊來。成年人的崩潰,要考慮后果。

                          那些靠意志隱忍下來的情緒后來都怎么樣了?

                          最近一個杭州小伙因為單車逆行被抓視頻被大量轉發,許多年輕人看完后不禁淚目。
                           
                          小伙騎單車逆行被查后,他在電話中告訴另一個人,自己因為逆行被抓暫時走不了,可能還需要兩三分鐘才能回去。小伙子講電話時的語氣很平靜。可掛斷電話后,他立馬奔潰了。先是情不自禁地摔手機,接著又心疼地撿起手機。后來就開始向交警哭喊,“我真的好冤啊,我第一次做這種事....公司催著我快點走,我加班,我趕回去有事.....”情緒激動下,小伙子忽然跪倒在地上向交警道歉,并要將自己的身份證、錢包交給交警。只求交警趕快放自己走。警察見狀有些懵,要將身份證歸還小伙子。
                           
                          可小伙子已經情緒失控,跑向橋邊意欲輕生,被交警拉下來后,他蹲坐在路旁大聲嘶喊、嚎啕大哭:“我瘋了....我真的好煩.....女友忘帶鑰匙,自己都不會帶鑰匙,我還要給她去送鑰匙。我每天加班到這么晚,我只是想哭一下…......”
                           
                          原來,小伙子是要趕著回去給女朋友送鑰匙,同時,公司里還有一大堆事等著他回去加班。而逆行被抓是讓他情緒奔潰的最后一根稻草。
                           
                          可即使是崩潰,視頻中小伙子口中最多的詞卻是,“謝謝你們”、“對不起”。明明自己已經心累到爆炸,可還是不想麻煩別人。這就是藏在現代人心中隱而未現的痛,當它暴走的時候,讓無數人淚目。現下的年輕人有很多人都經歷過這種瀕臨崩潰的感覺,工作的壓力,生活的壓力,讓他們常有喘不過氣兒的感覺。
                           
                          越來越多的人通過明星或者其他熱門事件接觸到抑郁癥,了解到抑郁對人健康甚至生命的侵害。
                           
                          2018年2月一位在美國加州大學讀大三的中國女留學生就因抑郁癥在宿舍自殺,年僅20歲。直到她離去后,家人、好友依然感到難以置信:在他們的印象里,這是個成績優異,愛好眾多,社交廣泛的女孩——在她Facebook的個人主頁上,每一張照片中的她,都笑得十分燦爛。
                           
                          人們稱這種行為為微笑抑郁,和人們印象中那些終日愁眉不展,看上去疲憊憔悴的抑郁癥患者不同,他們隱沒在現代都市的繁忙與喧囂之中,每天笑臉迎人,仿佛一切如常。但沒有人知道,在笑容的背后,他們正在與那個黑暗壓抑、痛苦不堪的自己,進行著怎樣的纏斗。
                           
                          在生活和職場上,情緒的流露成為一件奢侈品,你必須要學會隱忍情緒了,所有的難過、委屈、不堪都要自己默默消化掉,而這些已經成為現代人的日常。
                           
                          和有些人遇到不好的情緒會偷偷藏起來不一樣的是,有些人喜歡通過發脾氣,大喊大罵來讓自己的心情緩和,完全不顧及別人的感受。
                           
                          一味壓抑情緒和一味放任情緒爆發,都是不懂釋放情緒。這些壞掉的情緒就像病毒一樣潛伏在你體內,即使不會立刻傷害你,也會給你帶來長久的傷害。
                           
                          所有沒及時調節的情緒,最后都會報復回來。壞情緒并不會毀掉我們,真正會毀掉我們的,是錯誤的情緒釋放方式。不要再忽視情緒的釋放了。
                           
                          如果不能及時調節負面情緒,不管是壓抑情緒反應還是放大情緒,最后都會以消耗自己作為代價。因為所有不能及時調節的情緒,最后都會報復在你自己身上。
                           
                          面對生活中無法釋放的情緒,我們該如何釋放呢?
                           
                          讀了《蔡康永的情商課》后,結合了一點自己的經驗,總結出一些情緒管理和情緒釋放的竅門,希望能幫到受到情緒困擾的人
                           
                          1、處理負面情緒,要向戰爭片學習
                           
                          蔡康永認為,處理情緒問題要學習戰爭片或動作片的表達方式。
                           
                          理清自己的感受,然后對自己下達命令,樸素準確的表達對被情緒支配的自己比較有幫助,像動作片那樣:“11:00方向躲著兩個敵人,開槍!”
                           
                          至于開槍的方法是找朋友陪伴,還是大醉一場,是躲起來聽療傷的一起感悟人生歌,還是去旅行幾天,就隨你喜歡了。
                           
                          2、拖個幾秒,讓火熱的東西冷一下
                           
                          很多暴躁的人,遇到情緒失控,想沒那么暴躁,就開始數數:“1、2、3、4……”想拖個幾秒讓自己冷靜下來,只要養成一個讓自己冷靜的習慣就可以。
                           
                          遵循這個習慣后,為自己爭取的幾秒就可以用來處理無法釋放的情緒。
                           
                          3、在腦海中幻想冰塊
                           
                          有人問蔡康永生氣的時候是怎么做的,他說:“我在腦子里想冰塊。”
                           
                          每當他開始生氣,就想象四周開始結冰,對方結冰自己也結冰,這樣即使心里很生氣,但沒有了火燒的急迫感,取而代之的是節奏變慢了,便可以冷靜下來思考對策,這比氣到噴火、摔門走人要好得多。
                           
                          4、情緒與對錯無關,與對你有什么意義有關
                           
                          有一次一位作家朋友送了蔡康永一本新書,蔡叫他在扉頁上題幾個字,但不能是傳統的幸福和快樂之類的。
                           
                          朋友在書上寫下“不幸”和“悲傷”,蔡康永看了看,在后面加了三個字“的意義“。瞬間書上的字就變得不像詛咒了,反而像是一種提醒:再爛的事,一旦找到意義,好像忽然就變得可以接受了。
                           
                          每當情緒失控時,把鏡頭拉遠一點,想想這件“爛事”背后“的意義”,也許就能讓你的心情平靜下來。
                           
                          5、當情緒來的時候先停下來,逃離現場
                           
                          每個人都是為自己活的,但生活中大多數受壞情緒困擾的人,其實一直沒有真心對待自己,真心地愛護自己。
                           
                          當情緒無法釋放時,請放自己一馬,逃離現場,去做深呼吸,深蹲,讓情緒釋放出來,我有個朋友,每當自己情緒無法釋放時,她會選擇睡覺,一覺起來心情會好很多,未嘗不是一個好方法。
                           
                          我們永遠無法成為毫無情緒波動的人,他們只存在經書和神跡里,但是我們可以告訴自己情緒并不可怕,好情緒情緒,壞情緒也是情緒,從心理正視它。然后提高接受情緒的能力,尋求更多渠道釋放情緒。有一句說的很好:痛哭之后,我們繼續前行。www.numenleather.com
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